Thursday, 8 March 2007

Chestnut Report Part XI - Wings & Tacos

Baked vs Fried - we look into the pro's and con's of cafeteria wings.
Pro means good, right? Because I know Cons are criminals.

Speaking of criminal, we'll continue our look at how Honey Garlic wings
are destroying lunch. If we don't watch out, dinner might be next.

Jaco's Tacos - the perfect non-wing food?
No, that wasn't a sexual metaphor.

"Nation, It's time to grab the bull by the horns!
If there are no horns, you're grabbing a cow, stop it!
This is the Chestnut Report!"

Welcome back to Part XI of a XX part series, 'Better Know a Chestnut Wing'

Once again we look at the Chestnut Wing, The Fight'n Chestnut, and will continue until I live at another residence that makes chicken wings, or eat at a restaurant called Chestnut. Really the only options I have here.

The great debate brings us to how a chicken wing should be made. Cooked really, we all know how they are made even if we don't yet know if the egg or the chicken came first. Baked or Fried is the question at hand. Chestnut Bakes. Most restaurants fry. Why the bake? Well I don't know for sure, but I FEEL that its due to the fact they need to feed over 900 people wings, and you can bake a whole lot more in a giant ovens as opposed to deep frying a few in two deep fryers. That must be it, because I don't need facts. I go by how I feel. And I feel from the gut.

So which is better? Well they both have their pros and cons. Baked wings are healthier and you can cook more at a time. While this is all and good for some, what baking doesn't give you is the same crispy consistency that the deep fryer does. While Chestnut wings are better than many restaurants best attempts at frying a wing, they are easily soggy combined with the fact that the batter falls off because there is very little to keep it attached to the wings. Battered wings make for more crunch and puffed up size, but the texture and consistency of a baked wing doesn't hold up to a fried wing.

Now, this didn't stop me from having lots of baked wings. What did nearly stop me from enjoying my meal was the attack on decency and morality. Yes friends, I'm talking about the Honey Garlic attack on chicken.

I went up for another round of BBQ wings, only to be told all that was left was Honey Garlic. Frustrated but not defeated, I marched over to the condiment counter and concocted my hot sauce medley to defend against good taste. What I cannot understand is the people around me who willfully grab these sticky sacrilege. When you eat the Sweatinestas food, you are letting the terrorists win. Well that's it Honey Garlic: Your Dead To Me. I don't think you even exist anymore. Now you don't. And they shouldn't for you either.

I had to clean my palate and my mouth from something. I don't know what. If I had to say what it was, I would say Honey Garlic Wings, but they don't exist, so I don't know what it was in my mouth. But I still needed to have something relatively vegetable, so I took a bowl, filled it with carrot sticks from the salad bar, and put a drizzle of dressing to make a classic wing accompaniment.

It was a good meal. I was full but not stuffed - which was good because supper turned out to be a bonanza for my taste buds.

Jaco's Tacos, so named after the head Chef here at Chestnut. Tacos, like most Americanized or Tex-Mex Mexican food, are loved by almost all. This culinary enterprise that the people twice South of our border gave the world seriously makes me question the desire of Americans to build a giant wall to stop this from flooding across their boarders. Tex-Mex is great: its meat, its cheese, and some spice. Who wouldn't love that?

The assortment laid out includes the choices of meat or vegetarian mixture, refried beans, lettuce, 2 types of cheese, tomatos, salsa, guacamole, onion, green onion, sour cream, hot sauce and soft or hard shell tacos. That's a lot of choice. I don't think choice is good - it allows people to make wrong decisions, such as having vegetarian mixture instead of ground beef or choosing Honey Garlic wings over BBQ, if there was such a thing. No, choice only allows our enemies to win. Our only choice should be victory. And victory means we would all be eating tasty wings. Maybe the occasional taco too.

Good Night Wing Nation.

No comments: