LORD of the WINGS (or how I learned to stop worrying and love the suicide): St Louis AYCE Boneless Wings 2019

It's become an annual event. All-You-Can-Eat (AYCE) Boneless Wings at St. Louis Bar & Grill. ALL. YOU. CAN. EAT. I went last year, documented the event, then never posted (maybe one day I will in a Lost Review). But I was determined to post this year and to eat a lot of chicken. Yes it's not chicken wings, but it's chicken and sauce and that is still very good.

LJ and I went on a weekend afternoon after running some errands. It was cold, snowy, and having worked all morning long I was ready for a feast. We went to the St Louis on Clyde ave in Ottawa because it was the closest for us and it's a nice location (not that the other isn't, to be honest, I've never been there to know).

The promotion is all over the restaurant. This location is clean, still looks new, and has a wide variety of customers; there were seniors playing cards, college dudes watching the game, a girls afternoon out. And then us. It was a lot busier than we expected for the middle of the afternoon. Our waitress was also the bartender, was taking care of everything. There was another waitress who was clearly on break, reading a book in a booth in the corner. There was another staff that was just chilling at the bar (maybe she wasn't staff, just wearing St Louis clothes?).

I had seen the AYCE "All-Meat-Treat" special on social media that has been going on all January long. It took a while before we could get to go.

How does it work?

For $17.99 ($1 more than 2018) you start with an order of 8 Boneless Bites which comes with their blade fries and Garlic Dill dip. Then, when you order the next time, you HAVE to get the fries and 8 more boneless bites (this was different from last year when it was 8 bites & fries, and then like 4 bites in every order after that with or without fries). It's dine-in only (obviously) and you must purchase a large drink. We were also told that everyone at the table needs to order the AYCE so that people don't sneak and share.

There are 29 flavours to choose from (really? 29? Couldn't have had one more to make it an even 30?) and really, the big advantage of AYCE is getting to try as many sauces and rubs as one can. To spoil the ending, LJ only did 2 rounds and I did 3, giving us a chance to sample 5 different flavours.

We waited a while for our first order to come - it seemed to take forever, but then again, everything does when you are hungry. We were given cutlery, plates, extra napkins and wetnaps for cleanup. We also both got water and I think Diet Pepsi's (with free refills). Generally when you are trying to successfully do an AYCE, you want to avoid water and especially pop as this is just filler. However, this is a salt heavy meal so drinking lots was unavoidable.

The fries that come with their signature fries, which I know the cut as blade fries. They are thick yet almost wavy cut, frozen, then fried on site. They aren't bad fries and are great for dipping. Our first batch that came were terrible though - over cooked and too hard to chew. Subsequent batches were nice, crisp and fluffy potato inside.

Round 1 we didn't eat them all because they weren't very good. Round 2 we ate more but planned on not eating so many to not fill up, but because we waited in between orders for a long time (not due to St Louis purposely delaying but because of business of the establishment) we ended up snacking too much.

You also get their Garlic Dill dip. This stuff is awesome. Move over ranch. Blue cheese, meet a real contender for a great creamy wing dip. It's mostly dilly, a slight hint of garlic. It's just really good. Perfect for the fries, and necessary for some of the boneless wings. Last year our server brought us soo many containers. This time it was one per order, but she did bring an extra one when requested.

The actual 'boneless wings' or 'all-meat-treats' are obviously not wings at all, nor are they chicken fingers or tenders. These are a range from nuggets to chunks. What I mean is that they are not uniform cut (say like a McNugget which has 4 shapes) but range in size from small pieces to large chunks. From the photo above you can see this is a relatively large chunk bigger than a fork - the smallest morsels you can pop in one bite, but the above I would need to take 2-3 bites. They are all breast meat as far as I can tell, and they are quite meaty.

Each piece has a not-to-thick seasoned breading on it. They are very salty, even before the sauces. They have a light crispiness to them. The meat itself is tender. I would say that in all our orders they were deep fried just right, although the longer they sat out, the tougher they got (not a fault of St Louis, just when we were slow or saving some into the next round).

We had 2 rounds in which we each got a different flavour, plus I did one extra round before I had to give up. The sauces or dry rubs we got varied in how well they were coated. Round 1 we got Spicy Garlic Parm & Buffalo Ranch. Round 2 was Chili Lime & Mississippi Honey BBQ, with Round 3 being simple Hot.

ROUND 1

SPICY GARLIC PARM

This was LJ's first choice. This is a creamy garlic and Parmesan sauce with some hot sauce mixed in. They were not that well covered in sauce (the photo shows one bite on the right with next to no coating, while the one of the left is pretty wet). LJ found them pretty flavourless, and I found them just creamy with some heat (because my bites had no heat - see Buffalo Ranch).

BUFFALO RANCH

So I was surprised I ordered this as much as you. It wasn't what I thought it was; I've had this before and I forget what it is, which is why I have this blog - to record to know the next time! See I knew what I wanted the Mississippi BBQ flavour at some point, but I wanted something saucier and in the realm of hot first. At the last moment after my waitress asked what I wanted, out came Buffalo Ranch. I was thinking this was Buffalo sauce with ranch drizzled over it. It is not. It is Buffalo AND Ranch mixed together.

They were ok. They were barely sauced so I really couldn't taste anything. Not very buffalo, kinda ranch bland. It was not a good start.

Also, don't tell anyone from Buffalo NY about this - they get testy about Ranch and Buffalo being in the same sentence.

ROUND 2

CHILI LIME

This was one of the Dry spice options, a mix of chili spice and lime. It had a slight oily quality (maybe to help the seasonings stick?), and the dominant flavour was black pepper. There was a little chili heat, and almost no lime flavour to be found. And salty. Maybe that oiliness was lime juice, but even if it was, it was hella-weak. They were not bad, but would have loved more lime flavour.

MISSISSIPPI HONEY BBQ

This is one of my favourite flavours at St Louis by far. This BBQ sauce is sweet and tangy and savoury. It's a lighter BBQ sauce, and it has no heat. It's sticky and it just oozes over the chicken. It just pairs with the boneless bites so well. Each nugget was well sauced this round, but I would have loved a pool at the bottom for extra dipping.

ROUND 3

It was at this point LJ was really debating on a third round. She still had some chili lime bites left, and she was curious to try the Thai Coconut, but didn't want a whole order. In the end, she gave up. I was going for round 3 for sure, but I didn't know if I was going to do a 4th round or not. But I'm not a young man anymore and knew 3 was my last. So what would I get for my last round?

HOT

OK so I didn't go very adventurous. I went with Hot because I wanted a wet wing and something simple and spicy. It was good, and it was Hot level spice.

I used to be mad at St Louis back in the day at their Hot, because they weren't the Hot I was used to. I wanted a hot Buffalo wing, or standard pub wing, and this hot is different. It took me a long time to appreciate the flavour of this wing not because it wasn't good, but because it was different. It has a spicey, peppery flavour that is deep, and savoury. There are subtle spices I can't identify, that work really well on the wings. The sauce works well with the bites as well though.

They were good, but shamefully I couldn't eat them all (close, but just couldn't). I know why St Louis doesn't allow take-out - otherwise everyone would be taking home a free order home - but it's a shame because of the waste. I hate wasting food.

We were too stuffed for dessert, but I scoff at their menu stating "Man cannot live on wings alone". Yes, yes I can.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I had lots to eat. The event was hit or miss, with some bites not sauced enough, or some fries overcooked. But overall the chicken itself is good. The sauces were a mix, some I would get again, and others overlook in the future. I will be back to do this event again, but probably not this year.

TIPS

A regular order of Boneless with fries is $14.49 and an order of 15 is $18.99, so as long as you get two orders, you've made the AYCE deal worth the money.
Bring a few people with you so that you can each order something different and share and sample.
Plan your flavours - know what you want next before your order arrives so you can tell your waitress right away because you don't know how long your next refill may take.
Don't drink a lot. It's hard with all the salty food, but don't fill up.
Try not to fill up on fries. They are there to get in the way of the meat treats
Come HUNGRY

TO ST. LOUIS

Don't make the fries mandatory. We all know they are filler, but it just leads to wasting. Give a big order to start, but don't make it mandatory with refills. Push water and drink refills instead if you want to slow the chicken consumption down.
Add free veggie sticks to give a cleanser for all the salt, but also to act as filler.
Make the first round 8-10 bites, but allow those 8-10 to be split into 2 different flavours like you used to. Then make refills 4-5 at a time or again 8-10 with splits allowed.

No matter what, this was a tasty excursion that led to a desperate need to nap after eating.