What Would Brian Boitano Do???

A small trip down memory lane - its the summer of 1999, and I had just seen the greatest musical movie of all time. South Park - Bigger, Longer, Uncut.

While at that time I wasn't a huge fan of South Park before the film, I certainly was after. In fact, I went out and bought the soundtrack (and I rarely bought CD's). I listened to it over and over.
There were many sound tracks that became famous, "Blame Canada""Uncle Fucka" and "Kyle's Mom is a Big Fat Bitch", there was one song that always had a special place in my heart.

"What Would Brian Boitano Do? Part II". No not the song in the movie itself, but a remix found near the end of the CD. After a painful search, I finally found the music video. And the reason for this version being so important? No I'm not a Brian Boitano fan. Watch the video and pay close attention at 1:25 mark in the song. (be advised, there is profanity, and the images are lagging a bit from the music itself for some reason)

D.V.D.A. - What Would Brian Boitano Do? Pt. II Lyrics


[Guitar Intro:]

[Singers:]Brian! Skate! Brian! Skate! Brian! Fight! Brian! Skate!

[Lead Singer:]

What would Brian Boitano do if he was here right now? He'd make a plan and he'd follow through. That's what Brian Boitano'd do.

Brian! Skate! Brian! Fight!

When Brian Boitano was in the Olympics skating for the gold, he did two solchows and a triple lutz while wearing ablindfold. When Brian Boitano was in the Alps fighting grizzly bears, he used his magical fire-breath and saved the maidens,fair.

Brian! S-s-skate! Brian! Live!

So what would Brian Boitano'd do if he was here today? I'm sure he'd kick an arse or two. That's what Brian Boitano'd do.

Brian! Skate! Brian! Live!

When Brian Boitano traveled through time to the year 3010, he fought the evil robot king and saved us all agian. When BrianBoitano built the pyramids, he beat up Kounlah Khan! Cause Brian Boitano doesn't take shit from an-y-bo-dy!

[Man In Back:]

No! Brian! Those chicken wings are really spicy! Don't eat those!

[Singers:]

I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings. I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings. I've never seen a man eatso many chicken wings.

[man:]

AAAHHHH! I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings! AAAHHHH! I've never seen a man EAT SOMANY CHICKEN WINGS!! AAAHHHH!! I'VE NEVER SEEN A MAN EAT SO MANY CHICKEN WINGS!!! AAAHHHH!!! I'VE NEVER SEEN A MAN EAT SOMANY CHICKEN WINGS!!!!

Brian! Skate! Brian! Fight!

Brain Boitano-o was born on the planet of Krynuk. He came to Earth to save us all from borans and unstuck. Hideedodee!

Hideeday! Brian Boitano's here. So round up all your lasses and tell 'em they have no fears. Say, "Come over here my honey,and come and I'll take off my pants. and I'm gonna make dirty love to you, cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do."

Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd DO!

Superbowl Wing Eating Contest Results

So, everyone's wondering how it all went down.





Arrived at PJ Quigley's @ 6pm for the start of the Superbowl. The place was packed, and the fans were excited for the game. I still don't even know who played, let alone who won. Go squadron!

LJ and I surveyed the crowd, trying to size up who I was going to be up against. It was mostly and older crowd, but I saw a few pockets of younger people. All were eating, so it was hard to tell who was going to compete. I had a few nibbles, but nothing to break my hunger. Ok I had a glass of cherry coke, but I had 2 hours until half time, when the contest started.


The time went on forever. I felt good. I wasn't starving, I wasn't nervous, but I was ready. The names were announced to who would be competing - there were going to be six of us. Six was a good number . . . the less people to compete against, the better.





Halftime came, and we sat around a table in the corner. To my left there was (my nick names for them) Friendly Jock, and Previous Competitor (as seen in old photos of 2007 competition). Across from him was, well, I didn't even see him. Then in the white (see video) was 2008's Champ (an older gentleman), and across from me, The Kid (you'll here his name chanted,Andrew, on the video).


We sat around for a few minutes and I tried sizing up the competition. The Kid looked young and inexperienced. The Friendly Jock was nervous. The Champ looked serious - clearly my biggest threat.


The friendly manager (Andy is his name I think) announced not only the competitors (giving a shout out to me and the blog, thanks!), but also the rules.

1. 1lb of wings, flavour hot, were to be consumed as fast as possible
2. After eating the wings you had to consume a bottle of Dad's Root Beer. No napkins, saucy fingers to open the twist top.
3. The bottle and its contents could not be consumed before the wings.
4. Wings would be judged on how much meat was removed
5. The winner would receive free wings for a year (2lb once ever month?)

Ok, pretty much what I expected. But after hearing rule 4, I decided to change my eating strategy slightly. If they were judging for cleaning the meat off the bones, I was going to have to take the mili-seconds to eat ALL the meat, not just race through eating. All I could think was, eat the meat, don't waste time.

There was a countdown, Three . . . Two . . . then a false call, Two and a half, but I didn't flinch - and then, BAM! Off I was. Drummy wings got the Spin Move. Meat was falling off the bone. Wingette's got the small bone twist, they were coming right out of the wing - so easy to eat! I looked up and I looked at The Kid, with lots of cheers for him. I kept on. 3 wings left, 2 wings left . . . it was intense. Food was flowing down my throat, no choking, no breathing problems, I was feeling good. 2 wings left. I get to one and I hear what sounds like The Champ moving on to the root beer. Not only him, but the Kid! I rush the last wing and grab the root beer, trying to open it while I swallow. I can't get the bottle open . . . I'm getting stressed . . . why won't this damn thing open? OPEN DAMMIT!!! Ok I get it open, I down the root beer nice a smooth. I see The Kid and The Champ having problems, I can do it, I'm almost there . . .

SNAP. And the Kid wins. The Champ is not happy, not happy at all. I feel a wave of defeat come over me. 3rd place, but really, only #1 counts. I get some napkins and begin to wipe off the defeat. It turns out, I cut both my finger and my thumb trying to open the bottle, but that's not the sting I'm feeling.

Kudos to the kid, he's young, lots of family and friends cheering (his dad was a winner in a year before 2008). But then I start looking. The Champ isn't happy and I see why - something doesn't seem right. I don't want to be a sore loser, but I look at The Champ's bones, then The Kid's, then my own. Something isn't right:

That's right, The Kid barely ate anything off his wings. In fact, some wings only have like 1 bite out of them. I feel a little stilted because if I had stuck to my trained method, I would have done much better, but I heard clearly that meat-left-on-bone judging was going to happen. The thing is, The Champ still beat me, so I feel like he had the title taken from him.

But the key thing is, it was a lot of fun. For my first wing eating competition, I had a blast. And I would do it again. The crowd was entertaining and my 'celebrity' status was a hoot. Thanks PJ Quigleys for the free order of wings, the promotion, and for letting me be apart of the real sport of the night.

So if you know of any other wing eating competitions, let me know, because I had a taste of it, and I liked it.

Remember,

WKTV

SAME WING TIME
SAME WING CHANNEL

WING KING TV PRESENTS: WEC Training Continues . . .

Welcome to the first episode of Wing King TV (WKTV)!!! Experimenting with some technologies, I hope WKTV will become a regular event here on the blog. What is WKTV? Well, I decided to tape my training with the intent of putting it on Youtube. And I did. On special occasions I can tape some reviews, recipes and other wing related events so that you are one step closer to experiencing the wings with me.


Now you can watch my secret strategies as my training continues. Actually at this point, its only a few short hours until the Wing Eating Competition (WEC) begins. First thing was to deep fry 20 dusted deep fried wings, tossed in a lime-chili Buffalo butter sauce (I used Frank's Chili-Lime sauce, and I wasn't really a fan).




Not only that, in the competition I have to drink a bottle of Dad's Cream Soda (I think, I'm not 100% on the rules). All I had was a can, and it was a diet Pepsi (I know, no Coke on hand . . .).



The wings were ready, the pop can at my side, napkins, a wing plate, and a plate of wings. I'm ready to eat 20 as quickly as I can. Ok. Roll cameras, and . . . ACTION!

Warning: there is profanity in the following video (music only).

WKTV was originally just for entertainment to show you folks how the eating is coming along, but after watching it, I can see a lot of mistakes I am making, so the video became an educational tool to help me improve my game.

First, I'm not fast enough. I find it so hard to rush through good wings and not get every delicious morsel on the bone. I have to get past it. Push through the wings as quick as possible. I didn't have a clock either, and with no one sitting beside me to compete against, I didn't feel the pressure to speed through.

I went with 2 wing eating techniques that I'm comfortable with. For the drummies, I used the Spin Move, basically taking the drummy and spinning it removing all the meat from the bone. Again I can speed this up as I was a bit slow, but it worked excellent for removing a lot of chicken quick. The other move I used was the Small Bone Twist, with some variations using the wingette piece. When done successful, the meat can be sucked off the remaining bone easily (as seen in the video). However, if the nub is tough at all, it can be time consuming to rip apart (as seen in the video).

The key is that I have to have chicken in my mouth at all times and just go go go.

What was successful about the event?

• Well, not eating earlier in the day did help (this was a lunch affair) so I had built up some hunger.
• I didn't concern myself with the mess on my face or hands. Oh it was bugging me, having crafted for years the art of eating wings without making too bad a social faux pas.
• I was able to consume the wings and pop, with out pain, discomfort or hiccups. Last time, I began to hiccup during consumption, and that for sure slows one down. And I thought the pop and the carbonization of the liquid was going to cause some pain, but it went down smooth.
• My mouth remained lubricated, so I could keep eating. When I did the Duff's Wall of Pain
  challenges (1 & 2), halfway through I lost my saliva and my ability to down the wings was a problem. I don't know what I did this time to avoid this, but it was good.

On Sunday, I know what I need to do. I felt good after the wings, so it is just a matter of speeding everything up. I can do this.

Wish me luck!

And remember, check back soon to find out the results (and photos, and maybe even video) -

SAME WING TIME
SAME WING CHANNEL

Wing Eating Contest training continues . . .

My training continues.

I had 10 wings in under 2 minutes (I forgot to check the time to be exact). I'm pretty sure it was closer to 1 minute.

I tore through the wings quick, but I have one major problem holding me back:

I find it VERY hard not to stop and savour every little bit, or to clean every morsel off the wings. Speed eating isn't about tasting or enjoying, its just about consuming. I need to get past this to win.

I tested a few techniques out and I think its going well.

But I keep hiccuping after the wings. I'm not used to eating so quick - I'm glad I've been practicing instead of just jumping in cold turkey.

But I can do this.

Chicken wings are go!

REMINGTON'S PUB ~ Cornwall

So Cornwall has wings after all. After a long day of touring the town again, the countryside, and waiting for LJ, I discovered a lot more eateries and pubs than I had thought existed. By the time supper (early supper) came around, it was in my hands to find a place to eat. While there was a burger joint and and a BBQ place that seemed interesting, I had passed a pub that looked like a nice place to eat.

I didn't remember reading anything about Remington's pub before, so it was just a complete chance of a place. It was just after 4 and the place was empty except for a few people at the bar and another table. All eyes were on us entering the place (second time that day!) but our waitress, who I can't remember her name, was so friendly. A mature woman with a very happy disposition just charmed the pants off me (not literally of course), but her warm welcome just made us feel, well, welcome.



I ordered wings, and she informed us it was wing night, technically it was at 5pm, but she said she'd ring it in anyways. I went with hot wings, bbq wings, and I asked for a side of their hottest sauce, OUCH. She told me that they stopped serving it because it was just too hot - people were sweating and getting sick from it it was too hot. I asked her what it was and she said she would get the chef.

She brought over the chef? (he wasn't in any kind of cooking clothes, owner perhaps?) and he explained it was a sauce called 1 Million Scoville, that they ordered in from the USA. They used maybe 5-7 drops of the stuff for a big stock pot of bbq sauce to make OUCH, but it was just too much for people, and they were having problems getting it across the border so they stopped ordering it recently. Dang I would have like to try it! I had to settle with suicide instead.

LJ went with the steak sandwich. After ordering, she saw another patron get onion rings and regretted not ordering that. However, when her sandwich arrived, it came with lattice fries. I love lattice fries - crispy but potatoey, and often sprinkled with a bit of spicy seasoning. Other than 4 large tomatoes and large lettuce leafs, she really enjoyed the sandwich. It was a good foot long, and I regret not asking to try some! But I did have a ton of wings to go through.

With wing night, wings must be ordered in multiples of 10, and I decided, well it's wing night, so lets go with 20. I know, I was glutton. And to skip to the end of the book, I ate them all too.

The wings were a medium to medium-large wings, so my plate was definitely full. They were meaty enough, but unfortunately the chicken was a bit rubbery. That was certainly the worst aspect of the wings.

The skin was lightly dusted, which gave it a crispy skin. The hot half were a little mushy having absorbed the hot sauce (but there wasn't much sauce). The bbq was pretty wet, and well suicide came on the side. Let's break down those sauces.

HOT

The hot was pretty meek, again. It was typical cayenne pub hot sauce, and there wasn't much. It was all absorbed into the wings, which makes for a tasty marinated wing, but I like a saucy wing.



BBQ

The bbq saucy was pretty sweet. Sweet as in sugary, not as in slang. It was a nice sauce, but I think it needed a little more smoke and a little more spice, but I liked it.



SUICIDE

This is what I liked about the suicide: it was homemade. At least, it was a concoction of things, not just a bottled sauce. It was sweet (perhaps the bbq sauce was the base?) but the heat came from some spices that I couldn't identify. It had a strong taste of a homemade Indian hot sauce paste that I once had, but I have no idea what was in it. But I'll be honest, I didn't like it. It had a good kick, but it wasn't a sauce I liked the flavour of.

THE SCORE: I like taking a gamble, and Remington's was a gamble. Did it pay off? Well I think I broke even. I got great service, and I got a lot of wings for cheap. They were not the best wings but they weren't bad. LJ's dish was good. But I think this place gave me hope for Cornwall after all. 5.5/10

Remington's Pub
103 Montreal Road, Cornwall

QUINN'S INN & MORDECAI'S PUB ~ Cornwall (St Andrew's West)

Back to Cornwall - and guess what - wings for lunch and dinner! I was on my own for lunch, and I decided to go back to the nearby village of St Andrews West. There on the main intersection is Quinn's Inn, a historic relic and restaurant/pub.

St Andrews West is marked by a church with a huge steeple on hill, which can be seen for kilometers around. As for Quinn's, well, here is their history as told by them on their website:

"Quinn's Inn was built in 1865 by John Sandfield MacDonald, who served as Ontario's First Premier, from 1867-1871.
Two years before becoming Premier, Mr. MacDonald built a stagecoach stopover on the site of Quinn's Inn. He was laid to rest directly across from Quinn's Inn in the St. Andrew's Cemetery, one of the oldest in Ontario.

Located on what was once the main stagecoach route between Montreal, Kingston and Toronto known variously as the Line Road, the King's Road or Dundas Street. It was Macdonald's wish that the basement of the hotel be kept for use by the parishioners for the serving of lunches after wedding and funerals. The building continued in operation as a hotel until it was gutted by fire in 1879 and was purchased by William and Elizabeth Masterson in 1895, who it is believed, renovated the interior. The building opened under their management as a store, barber's shop and post office a few years later. In 1924 Frank Quinn became owner, followed by his sons Maynard, Alfred and Ernest in 1948. It continued as a general store until 1989 when it was purchased and historically restored by the Quinn family.
Currently Quinn's Inn is owned and operated by the Belmore Family, and we are delighted to serve you. "

There are two parts of the establishment, the upstairs, Quinn's Inn, which is a fine dining establishment, and Mordecai's Pub, downstairs in the basement. I wasn't quite sure whether to go in the front or the back doors, but I was at the back, so in I went. I followed the signs and opened the door to the pub. Immediately all eyes were on me. All 10 eyes of the establishment.

I felt very out of place; everyone in there was sitting at the bar, and I don't think any of them were younger than 40. I'm under 30, and I'm sure it looked a little strange, me coming in, sitting in a booth in the corner by myself. A man who looked like Wilford Brimley, who I think was the owner, asked how I was doing, asked for a drink and if I needed a menu. I sat with my back to the room, but I took in the environment around me.

The room feels like a colonial mill or inn, with stone walls, solid wood beams, and big wood tables. There are a few flat screens with 'the game' on, but today, the volume was mute, or basically off. It's not a big room, and it was quite. You could hear every little sound, every conversation, and I took advantage of that.

I listened in on what sounded like the staff meeting of the month. The owner, chef and two others discussed needed repairs and recent business and takes, but I found the talk about food orders and menu changes much more interesting. They sounded like fresh was important to them, however expenses were high, and the only thing I heard that I didn't like was what sounded like the wings were frozen (and a popular item, especially with the Superbowl coming up next weekend). I may have heard wrong, but as I tried later, its very likely they were.

Along with my wings, I saw deep fried pickles on the menu, and I could not resist. They were dusted with lots of spices and served with a thick but rich sour cream. They were super hot, but soo good. The one difficulty with DFP is that you can't just break them in half - you have to bite into them, despite the scorching temperature. 5 came in an order for $6. But enough of the vegetables, on to the wings!



The wings are ordered by the wing, so I decided to go with 10 wings, hot (just to get an idea of the base sauce flavour) with a side of suicide, just in case the suicide sauce isn't good.

The wings were good old fashioned chicken wings. No breading, no dusting, just straight deep fried chicken. They weren't huge, but they were crisp. They were ok in meatiness. But they were a fairly solid wing.

The hot sauce wasn't flowing over the wings. It was tossed very conservatively. I wonder some times when I order wings with one sauce, and get a side sauce, that the chef decides to not sauce the wings in hot very much because of the extra side? Anyways, the hot was a simple cayenne pub hot sauce, but it wasn't hot, maybe a medium or even a mild.

That's why I went with a side of suicide. It was good old 3rd Degree sauce. It was cold (I'm not a fan of cold sauce with hot wings), but as always, it had a nice little bite. But nothing original.

FINAL SCORE: Mordecai's was a neat little pub which gives a historian like me the feeling that your eating in a way-stop from the past. My wings weren't anything special at all, but my deep fried pickles were the shining example of how to deep fry a pickle. I think the upstairs would be a great experience for a fancy night out. 5/10

Quinn's Inn & Mordecai's Pub

17329 Kings Road & Highway 138, St Andrews West, just North of Cornwall.

quinnsinn.ca

Marzetti's Buffalo Ranch Veggie-Dip

We had grabbed a veggie platter, you know, the type with carrots, celery, broccoli and cauliflower. We just assumed that the dip inside was a standard ranch, but to our excited surprise, it wasn't.






That's right, Buffalo Ranch. I assume its in honour of the Superbowl? Maybe it's available all the time and I just never realized it. But it does say new on the container.

I searched the Marzetti's website and couldn't find any info. I've had other dips from them and they were decent, so hopefully this one would too.

Lots of ingredients, with hot sauce #3, that's encouraging. But there are a ton of ingredients in the dip . . . what is all that stuff? Is it necessary? Well, the hot sauce is a cayenne based hot sauce, like Frank's.

It looks like regular ranch dip, with a little red tint. Its a thick and creamy dip, so it clings to your veggie crudites, but not so thick that it takes effort to dip.

The taste is clearly ranch, with a little kick from the hot sauce. It is just a hint, but its really good. Very addictive. Both the dip and the veggies are almost gone! Sure, you could get the same result from adding your own hot sauce to plain ranch dip. But hey, if there's plain and then you have to add hot sauce, and there's Buffalo, I would go with the latter. I didn't look for this on the shelves, but if I was looking for a creamy dip for veggies or chips, this would be worth it, if it is there, and its not badly priced. If your looking for that kind of thing. Whatever, it's good. Leave me alone and get your own dip.

Marzetti Buffalo Ranch Veggie-Dip
marzetti.com

MONTANA'S COOKHOUSE SALOON ~ Ottawa

-- This location is NOW CLOSED --

There's not much of a story here. It's Saturday night, and no one is in the mood to cook. Let's go out for a dinner and a movie. But where to eat? Let's go someplace we haven't been to yet. List off restaurants, narrow it down, and somehow we ended up with Montana's Cookhouse Saloon.



You know Montana's. They are a chain everywhere in Ontario.They look like a ski lodge (actually they looked like they ripped off Moose Winooski's) or a country cabin place, with crazy crap on the walls. I'm sure you've seen the commercials with the Deer and Moose, who talk about how delicious the food is. Now, I like these guys, but there is something wrong about a 'hunted' moose and deer heads, talking about how delicious the ribs look. I mean, talk about morbid! The only other beef with that is that they don't even serve venison or moose meat.





Montana's is almost always found in box store malls, and I can't get over how exact a formula they follow for their restaurants. We walked into this one, and it was almost identical to the ones I've been into the past. I forgot to take some photos of the inside of the restaurant, but found the one below on the internet from Edmonton, and its an almost exact clone of the one here in Ottawa that I went to (and there are like 3 more in town, I'm sure they are all the same). I guess that's what you expect from a chain, consistency.

It's not a place I've been to for several years, and they weren't memorable events. I couldn't even remember what I had eaten the last time I was here. And to be honest, I've heard from some family and friends and read quite a few negative reviews that all followed the same theme: slow service, cold restaurant, cold food. Well, I like to experience things for myself, and LJ was in the mood, so we tried it out.

It was very busy inside, but we didn't wait more than 10 minutes being seated. Our server Andrew, who was tired, abrupt, but down to Earth, warned us off the top that some dinners might be slow tonight - none of his tables had this problem, but that it may take a while. Good to know. We ordered, and surprisingly we didn't wait long.

On the table was an advertisement for an appetizer not in the menu. "Hand cut potato wedges tossed in medium Buffalo sauce, served with ranch dip". How could I resist trying this?

What we have here was pretty clear - giant wedge potato that is dusted, fried, then tossed in whatever sauce you want them in. I got the same sauce as my wings, so I'll come back to that, but these suckers were swimming in sauce but they became soggy. They were served in an iron skillet, with a giant lettuce leaf. Not a fan of the lettuce let me tell you. And quite frankly it was barely warm when they came out.

They were the thickest cut potatoes I've ever had served. The dusting made for a nice crunch, but because they were sooooo thick, several of them were not fully cooked through. I couldn't finish them off and took them home for lunch the next day, and they were pretty tasty both the night of and the next day.

LJ was feeling the need for red meat, and went with a steak. Montana's has a special on right now, "Deal a Winning Meal" where you choose a special entree and dessert, get a free pack of cards, and a scratch card where 'everyone is a winner', and you could win your meal for free. LJ did not, her card was a free Signature Honey Apple Cobbler.

She went with the 8 oz Sirloin steak. She ordered it 'well done' (which wouldn't be my choice of 'cooked-ness', but to each their own). However, it was more than well done on the outside but still pink in the middle. And it was tasteless. LJ told me so, and I thought maybe it just was mild. Nope, it was mighty tasteless. And cold. Not ice cold, but it didn't seem like it came right off the grill. I also don't know how big 8 oz is, but both of her sides dwarfed the main event, and they weren't big.

The mashed potato's were ok - plain, and slightly cold. The coleslaw was really nice though. Very creamy, just the way I like it. There wasn't much to it, but it didn't need anything else. So the wedges were good, the steak bad, potato's ho hum, nice coleslaw . . . how would the wings hold up?

I wasn't angry right away, that only came later, once at home, when I really realized what I had recieved. Why am I angry? Because these wings cost $9.78 for 8 wings. That's more than $1 a wing. For that price, I better have a special wing. Instead, I got a tiny little wing. Look at the picture below. Look at it!!! That's supposed to be worth $1??? And keep in mind that is double dusted, so it's inflated in size.

Forgetting the size, how were they? They too, like the rest of the food, were almost cooled completely down when they arrived. Next, the double dusting and final deep frying made these wings hard. Rock hard. I'm pretty sure what happened is they were cooked well in advance, and are just tossed in the deep fryer to heat up. This might be why they were so not hot when I got them. Plus the chicken inside was quite dried out. There was no flavour or seasonings detectable in the chicken.

The sauce on the wings was a little different story. I ordered the wings with hot sauce with a side of suicide. Andrew warned that hot was hot, but I ignored his warning, having NOT been burned by places making such a claim before. Well, surprisingly, it was hot. It had a good kick to it and I would definitely classify it as a hot. And my wings were just about swimming in it. But it was plain 'Buffalo' Butter sauce, and when I say plain, I mean no taste to it really.

I also got the side of suicide (see above). This was similar to what I call a 'suicide salsa,' a blend of chopped peppers and hot sauce. While it too had a good kick, the overwhelming taste of nutmeg ruined this sauce for me. Seriously, nutmeg. Why don't we just throw in some cinnamon and some apples and make it an apple pie. What were you thinking Montana's?

FINAL SCORE: So the criticism I had heard about the chain in general were true. While Andrew was a decent server, the food was cold, and there were tables around us that ordered before we sat down, and got their food after we were finished our meal. I don't understand why so many people come back. I've learned my lesson - dry boring wings that are MEGA over priced, even if the sauce had a nice kick. No flavour, but a kick. So we will not be returning for our free dessert, cuz it wasn't worth it. 2.5/10

Montana's Cookhouse Saloon

1100 Baxter Road, Ottawa (and many other locations)

montanas.ca

Nutmeg? Really?

Chicken Wing Boycott begins TODAY

Some of you might have been following the news out of the chicken wing capital of America, Buffalo, where there is a chicken wing shortage for the 2009 Superbowl. I won't go into details, as the CBC did it HERE for me, but it's sad news. The fact that prices have skyrocketed and 1 wing place is boycotting wings today is pretty bad.

But keep reading the comments at the bottom of the article, and its clear people don't understand the significance to us Canadians.


Sure, I don't care for the Superbowl. Last year I watched Klingons instead. But chicken wings are the de facto dish of the event, and any event that celebrates chicken wings I think I can get behind in some way or another. So my loyalties don't exactly lie with the sport itself. But there are elements of this event that I think is relevant to Canadians. The most important is that this could happen here.

A few years ago with the 'Asian Bird Flu' where chickens were culled in the thousands (if not more), chicken wings went into a shortage, and prices went up. I remember a local pub even explaining it to its customers. It was a terrible time. And the prices kept going up. Now, with our recession and other economic troubles, the potential cost of chicken wings could sky rocket.

I hate that it is common place for pubs and restaurants to charge $10 for 10 wings nowadays. It seems ridiculous, especially since it wasn't that long ago that that wings were just tossed out or used for stock. Now, while there is a surge of wing consumption related to the Superbowl and thus supply and demand is off at this time of year, really, more people are eating wings. Wings have moved from the seedy bar to the family dinner table. Yes more places serve wings, but with more people eating them, there are less wings out there than there used to be! And with crises like those in Buffalo, there is a fear that producers, middlemen and restaurateurs will take advantage and not jack up prices because of supply and demand, but to rip off the consumer.

Right now there should be a price war going on to get wing lovers into their establishments, because lets be honest, people spending money can only be good for the economy right? It's clear that I am not an economist, and I really don't understand economic theory (hey, I like Marx), but I fear those that will take advantage of us wing lovers. And beyond that, the wing market in Canada is not that strong. Having spent about a year in Ottawa, its clear it is hard to get a decent chicken supplier here, I can only think what would happen to others if the shortage was to spread.

Right now, there's no shortage here in Ontario that I'm aware of. I went to the grocery store yesterday and got wings. Yes they are not as cheap as they used to be (what isn't? I mean, things will always become more expensive), but we have them. And for that, I will appreciate every wing that I eat, because one day, there might not be any available. Or financially attainable. Then I will understand what many people in Western New York are feeling now.

Good luck Buffalo, my heart goes out to you.

A Wing Eating Contest . . .

I got wind of a wing eating contest for the upcoming Superbowl, and its my intentions to join in. I've never done one before, but boy does it excite me. What's at stake is free wings for a year, but I'll be honest, I'm more interested in the title, rather than the free wings. Well, free wings are cool too, but I would join in just to join in.

The competition as I understand it is who can eat a pound and a half (I think) the fastest, plus a drink. Now, I would prefer a heat-off, or even a most consumed, but I think I can do it.

To start training, I'm turning to my two personal heroes in the world of competitive eating: Joey Chestnut and Sonya 'The Black Widow' Thomas.




Joseph Christian "JAWS" Chestnut



An American competitive eater currently ranked first in the world by the International Federation of Competitive Eating. He is a Vallejo, CA native who currently resides in San Jose, CA.

WING RECORDS:

• Chicken Wings: 7.05 pounds of wings in 12 minutes during the TripRewards Ultimate Hot Wing Eating Championship in New York City on May 21, 2007.
  
• Chicken Wings: 241 wings at Wing Bowl XVI in Philadelphia, on February 1, 2008.

TRAINING METHOD:

Chestnut trains by fasting and by stretching his stomach with milk, water, and protein supplements. Three days before winning a chicken-eating contest in Boston, in November 2005, Chestnut drank gallons of water in under one minute and ate buffalo wings to get his stomach accustomed to them.

(Wikipedia)


Sonya "THE BLACK WIDOW" Thomas



Atop-ranked Korean-born American competitive eater from Alexandria, Virginia. Thomas joined the International Federation of Competitive Eating in 2003 and quickly rose to the top of the ranks, beating eating greats such as Cookie Jarvis and Eric Booker.


The 98-pound Thomas is the number four competitive eater in the United States, and ranked fifth in the world , with 29 world titles. Her nickname "The Black Widow" refers to her ability to regularly defeat men four to five times her size. While the size of her stomach is only slightly larger than normal, her skinny build is perhaps her biggest advantage, allowing her stomach to expand more readily since it is not surrounded by the ring of fat common in other heavy eaters. She holds records in over 25 eating competitions, and in December 2008, she defeated top-ranked eater Takeru Kobayashi in a fruit-cake eating contest.


WING RECORDS:

• 173 chicken wings in 12 minutes
  
• 1st place in "National Buffalo Wing Eating Contest" and "Buffet Bowl" at Buffalo, NY's WingFest 2007

TRAINING METHOD:

Thomas exercises up to two hours a day on an incline treadmill, and has maintained her weight since she started competing in 2003, down from 135 pounds when she worked as a typist in Korea. Her lowest weight has been 99 lb. at Wing Bowl XII in 2004, while training with Puerto Rican Martial Arts Master Jonathan Kuhns. She only eats one very large meal a day, which takes several hours for her to complete. A typical post-work meal for her would be three large orders of fries, a chicken Whopper, 20 chicken tenders, and two 32-ounce diet soft drinks.
She does not practice eating at maximum speed for more than a two-minute period

(Wikipedia)

I'm not going to these extremes in my 'training', but I will be doing what I can to dominate over the others. This is going to be sweet.