CHESTNUT REPORT XX - THE FINAL REPORT

"Caution: Tonight's show may be a suffocation hazard, because
you can't poke holes in my arguments.
This is The Chestnut Report."

"This blog is an acquired taste.
If you don't like it, acquire some taste.
This is The Chestnut Report."

"If you like The Chestnut Report,
then you'll love what's coming next.
This is The Chestnut Report!"

Welcome back wing warriors. Its been over a month since the events of the following entry took place. Oh sure, you could say that I was just lazy. And you would be right. Well, actually just really really busy. And in mourning. Because what I bring you tonight is the end of the Chestnut Report, and part 1 of a 1 part series: The End of the Chestnut Report.

What's going on? Well way back when these photos were taken, school was almost out for most people. There was one more official wing night, a surprise wing night (cleaning out the freezer in the caf) and then, it was all over. With the coming of the summer, Chestnut Wings come to an end. Tonight's blog is a special memorial for the Wing Nation as we look at the last night of caf wings.

I know the suspense has been killing all my loyal readers out there about whats been happening to wings in the caf. I'm here to tell you, a month ago the wings were a rocking when I came a walking. These were the best wings of the year I have to say. Delightfully crunchy, baked well with nothing falling off, not what your honey garlic sweatanistas would like.

I was accompanied by the big brass at this dinner, with Dave, our wing hero of the past. Him and I battled it out over the wings but really, we fought for the same side: great wings.

One of the things that made these wings the best of the year was the suicide sauce. So very close to Buffalo style sauce, this orange-red mixture is truly my ALPHA MALE of the WEEK.

What more can I say - these wings were good, and the suicide makes it even that much better.

So wing nation, its with sad regret that I declare The Chestnut Report closed. No big bang, just big wings. Its been wonderful testing the wings every month in the caf and fighting the good fight. Being named Wing Eater of the Year in the caf has been such an honour. You may ask, "Wing King, did they really name you Wing Eater of the Year?" and I would have to say no. But they should. Write them, phone them, tell them everything I have done in the name of good wings.

Before we go, I'd like to end the night off with a new segment, EXTRA SPECIAL COMMENT, special opinion piece when I feel moved by wing current events in the caf, some sort of injustice that really gets my blood boiling. So here it goes:

WHY COULDN'T THE WINGS HAVE BEEN LIKE THIS ALL YEAR? PERFECT - NO HONEY GARLIC, AND SO FEW STUDENTS I COULD KEEP GOING UP FOR MORE WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT WINGS RUNNING OUT. AND WITHOUT THE STUDENTS, WHO DON'T APPRECIATE HOW GOOD THESE WINGS ARE, THERE IS LESS WASTE. THAT's RIGHT, WING WAR CRIMES WHERE PILES OF HALF-EATEN, OR NOT EVEN TOUCHED WINGS HIT THE GARBAGE. THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS AN INJUSTICE.

Good night

Stay Strong and Be Brave Wing Nation
Until we meet again . . . this reporT is closed . . .